Present, MrGrayson!
by Pocky of NyaNyaLand
Summary: "When are you going to stop stalking him?" "When he stops being a sexy bitch!" In which Dick Grayson is a teacher and the star of everyone's wet dreams. Continuation of the story "I Generally Avoid Temptation Unless I Can't Resist It" DickxMaleHarem
1. Boys Will Do Boys

I wasn't satisfied with just Dick/Damian anymore so I decided to whore Dick to the world. Hahahahahahahahahahaha. This is a sort of fusion between the YJ cartoon and the comics. For those who haven't read Goodness Has Nothing To Do With It, Mr. Grayson was introduce in my collection of one shots ch.2 and ch.3. You don't have to read it, just know that Dick is a teacher and has never been a Robin, and he is of Russian/American nationality and Romani descent.

**Chapter 1: **Boys will do Boys

* * *

"We are all sick, twisted individuals who deserve to get punished."

"Shut up, Tim," Jaime snaps, who looks just as miserable and guilty. _End the virgin's self pity_, the scarab hisses at him, _so that we can take the one with the firm buttocks as ours! _"Shut up!" Jaime shouts again. Tim glares at him. Jaime glares back. Only harder.

"Look on the bright side! Not only did we satisfy our teenage hormones, we also helped him cool down significantly and prevented the possibility of him dying from heat exhaustion. He might even be thankful! So thankful that we might get sexy times! And groping privileges!" Bart theorizes optimistically. He drools at the thought.

Both his teammates look ready to throttle him.

"That's it? That's the excuse you're going with?" Bart's face drops. He 'humphs' and looks away in defiance. Tim groans, unconvinced. "I knew I shouldn't have listen to you guys! 'It's just a harmless little prank!' you said. 'He won't even find out!' you told me. 'Besides, you're an honor student, Tim! You're the last person he would suspect' my ass! This is the last time I'm letting you pick our activity of the day."

Jaime sneers at him, "Hey, we were not the ones calculating the best angle to attack for optimum nipple coverage. That was all you, Drake."

"And me," Bart admits sheepishly.

"And Bart," Jaime corrects.

Bart shrugs the two of them off like flies. He stretches leisurely and yawns. Tim fights back the urge to smack him for his lax attitude while he himself is freaking out. "How are you so calm?"

"Well, it's not like we're really getting in trouble for it..." Bart trails off when he notices how Tim's eyes practically bulges out at his statement.

"Not getting in trouble? Not getting in trouble? We're in Gotham's Police Station waiting for Bruce to pick us up because we decided to attack our teacher!"

Bart coughs, "Uh, he's your teacher, not ours_._"

Tim grabs on to his spare batarang that he carries for emergencies. Jaime quickly holds him back while Bart goes on the defense. Tim is so, so not crash.

Their fight is cut short when Commissioner Gordon comes out to get them. He raises an eyebrow at Tim, much more used to seeing Tim's younger sibling, Damian, but nonetheless gestures them inside. The three teenagers follow begrudgingly.

"So I read the report from the officer who arrested you," Commissioner Gordon tells them. He always gets to the point. It's one of the things Tim likes about him. "And I must say, it's a bit disappointing to see three intelligent young men get caught so easily. I'm really disappointed in you, Tim."

His tone is serious, but there's a light hearted glint in his eyes that tells them it isn't a big deal. For all they knew, this was a common occurrence.

Tim sighs in relief. Bart is the first to respond, "Does that mean you're letting us off the hook?"

Commissioner Gordon chuckles, "Not on your life."

Their dismal moods returns. "Mr. Grayson is currently being informed who the culprits behind his situation were and will be here shortly. He will determine your punishment. Mr. Wayne says he's on his way."

Shit. Bruce is coming. He knew it was going to happen. But hearing it being said was so much worst. He is so dead. Dead enough to start making a will, dead. Or dead enough to dig up his own grave, dead.

It took a whole ten minutes for Bruce to arrive. The longest ten minutes of Tim's life. Damian follows behind him with a smug look on his face. He did not know why Tim is in trouble, but for once in his life, Tim is in trouble. Ha! Goody-two shoes virgin. Unlike his son, Bruce looks furious, and Tim can feel his disappointment radiating throughout the room. Jaime appears ready to piss his pants. Bart is freaking out in the presence of a pre-Batman fit.

"Do any of you three care to explain to me what happened?"

Before Tim or Jaime could salvage the situation, Bart open his big mouth and the verbal diarrhea flowed like a flood in Malaysia.

"We were horny! Everyday, since we got here, we've been subjugated to the torture of Mr. Grayson's perfect ass! Do you know how it moves? Of course you don't because it doesn't move. It _bounces_. It goes 'ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum.' It plagues my dreams every night! I put myself asleep listening to the imaginary rhythms of his moving cheeks! One time, when he jogged pass me, I bounced a quarter off his bubble butt and it sprung back to my hand. That's not normal! Then, there was his nipples. Those perky little cherries that were begging to be squeezed. Sometimes, I fantasize about him nursing me and saying 'hey, Bart, why don't you have a little sucky time?' Then, his hair! His skin! They _sparkle_. It's his sweat. He sweats sparkles! And I have to watch him, gleaming in the sun as he runs past me in that tight outfit with his pert nipples and his bouncy behind. And he's smiling when he does it! You know why? Because he's mocking us, that whore! So should you blame me for suggesting we steal his clothes? Should you blame Tim for throwing cold water balloons at him? Should you even blame Jaime, who return the clothes I stole after cutting holes in them? No! We are not to blame, Commissioner, Mr. Wayne! We are merely victims of Mr. Grayson's sexy!"

When Bart finishes, he looks to his friends for support. His friends stare at him in horror.

"I'm going to kill you!"

"You are dead, idiot!"

"How dare you molest my Dick?"

Before anyone can stop them, Impulse's teammates launch at Bart in fury, and Damian tackles all three of them in rage. They manage to catch the unsuspecting speedster off guard and wrestle him to the ground. Damian is trying to beat them all at the same time. Soon, the four boys were in an all out brawl. Hastily, Bruce attempts to drag his two proteges out of the pile, Commissioner Gordon does the same with Jaime and Bart.

"It's your fault I'm here!" cries Tim in anger. He throws a punch at Bart which accidentally lands on Jaime.

"I didn't make you do anything! I just wanted to steal his shirt! It was your idea to throw water balloons at him so that we could see his nipples erect!" Bart retorts, he tries to kick one of them, and both of them are sure it's Damian that got hit. "Besides, what about Jaime?"

"What about the beetle?" Damian hisses, as he socks Tim in the groin. Bart winces. That's got to hurt.

"He the one who decided to watch Mean Girls and cut holes into Mr. Grayson's shirt and shorts! Pervert!" Bart comments.

Jaime headbutts the smart mouth. "Chupa mi pito, asshole! I have a scarab telepathically telling me, and my raging hormones, to tap that ass! What's your excuse?"

"I live with Bruce!"

"I'm from the future!"

Bruce spares a glance at Commissioner Gordon, who seems more focus on getting the boys out alive than listening to their actual conversation. Thank God for small miracles.

"_Dobriy den!_ Is it too late to join the party because even if it is, I can make it more fun!" purrs Dick from the doorway. Almost instantaneously, the four boys pick themselves up and correct their stance to what they felt was 'cool.' Bruce is about to apologize before the Commissioner pushes him out of the way.

"Good to see you again, Mr. Grayson. I don't know if you remember me but I'm..."

"Gordon! The man in charge!" Dick cheerfully answers as he swaggers inside. He gives the older man two full kisses on the cheeks. "I never forget a man in power. It always turns me on. _A lot._"

Dick runs a light finger down his chest before winking. It takes a while for Commissioner Gordon to get back to his senses, and Bruce's uses the opportunity to pull Mr. Grayson away. Hopefully distract him long enough before Commissioner Gordon remembers that he is single. "I want to deeply apologize for Tim and his friends' behavior. It was completely inappropriate and I can understand and respect it if you want to press charges, though I would like to talk alternative options instead."

Dick is aghast. "_Nyet_! I would never dream of doing such a thing! Boys will do boys, as they say. As long as they never do it again, I have no problems. Why, it was even a bit refreshing, getting all _wet and dirty_."

"I told you," Bart smirks. His friends glower at him and Damian makes a cutting motion.

Dick takes off his coat, revealing his toned body and luscious curves. He gets up so close to them that they can smell his freshly washed shampoo and body lotion. "So boys, are you getting wood?"

"What?" The three ask simultaneously. Dick grins.

"I said: do you promise to be good?"

"Yes!" Tim exclaims with a frightening amount of passion. There's a heavy blush on his cheeks that is mirrored by every male in the room. "We will be good-great boys from now on. I won't let you down."

"I doubt anything goes down when it comes to Dick," Damian mutters maliciously. Tim is so close to maiming the kid. He knows it.

Mr. Grayson giggles, and pats all of them on the head, even Damian, who had nothing to do with the incident. "With this matter settled, I will be off! I need some new clothes to replace my cut ones! Mr. Wayne, you will pay my bills, _nyet_?"

If Batman could jump in shock, that little reaction would be it. Dick is giving out that saucy smirk, and Bruce has to admit that he is impressed by his forwardness. Of course, he would have paid for them regardless, but the fact that Dick openly acknowledge it was...sexy.

"Of course, may I buy you a drink for your trouble?"

Commissioner Gordon chooses to regain his alertness at that moment, and steps in. "I don't think that will be appropriate, _Mr. Wayne_."

Bruce chuckles, "Nonsense! I need to thank him for his generosity, and, of course, apologize for what happened."

Dick laughs, "Your credit card will do that. Besides, you know my policy on going out with my student's parents, Mr. Wayne. Don't be such a _naughty boy_. And no worries about your boys! They have good heads on their shoulders. When I was their age, all I worried about was giving head."

The adults stare at him blankly. Behind them, the boys are having a sexual meltdown.

"...I don't think you meant what you said," The Commissioner suggests cautiously.

Dick looks surprised, "Oh, my English is not that good, even now. I mean _minet_, blowjob. I was very good in my youth, I still am!"

Bart's comeback is thwarted when Jaime elbows him roughly in the ribs, and cutting off his air supply.

"...Is that so?" Bruce notes slowly.

"Yes, I have great skill. Lots of practice. No gag reflex, it all goes down and I swallow. Always. That's the secret. Always swallow."

Tim chokes in the background. The scarab makes another nasty comment about dying virgin sacrifices, and Bart has a look on his face that no one wants to decipher. Damian seems to be choking air. Commissioner Gordon moves behind his desk. Bruce is alone.

Dick does not notice the discomfort, "But I really must get going, I have appointment at store. Very high class, use to work in Amsterdam in a special district. _Do svidaniya_."

When he left, no one made a sound for a few minutes. Finally, Commissioner Gordon coughs, "Well, with that being said and done, you boys," he addresses the three, heavily humiliated individuals, "reign in your hormones by the end of the summer. I know two of your returning to back your hometowns but Tim, you are a Gothamite and under my watch."

Tim nods, grateful that he is getting off scot-free.

They walk out of the police station, choosing not to acknowledge the heaps of zombie like police officers who were probably victims of the sex shark known as Dick Grayson. They wonder how he could do so much damage in so little time, but choose not to dwell on the force that is Dick Grayson.

They get into the black limo, with Alfred judging them with his all knowing eyes in the rear-view mirror. His anger is delicate, posh. The three boys lean back in relief. It was all over.

"Oh, and don't think I'm letting any of you get away with this. I called your parents, Jaime, and the Garricks. Tim, you are all mine."

Shit.

* * *

When I write Dick's dialogue, I say it out loud in a Russian accent. It so much more fun to read when you do that. There's going to be a lot of rivalries. Father against son. Friend against friend. Redhead against brunette. They are all gunning for Dick Grayson's ass. Think of it like a shounen manga. Everybody is after the same thing but there's one person that really ticks another off and soon there's a series of battles. That's probably how I'm going to write it. So far, I've written Bruce vs. Damian, Bart vs. Jaime vs. Tim vs. Damian. What will be in the next chapter? Ooh...


	2. I can't help that I'm fabulous

So Young Justice is canceled and I'm going through my stages of grief. Cry. Whine. Write lots of porn. Seriously, I'm thinking about a Pokemon hentai featuring a female Ash and my favorite gym leaders and rivals. Yeah. I'm going there. Just a note, this story is going to be set right after episode 8 and is a crossover between the comics (pre-reboot) and Young Justice.

This is a fairly short, filler chapter. The next one will be longer but I'm really bad at transitions, so I didn't want to include this with another one. Plus, it would have taken longer.

**Chapter 2:** I can't help that I'm fabulous

* * *

"And father was like 'don't do it again, Tim' and proceeded to give this horrendously long lecture about how sexual objectification leads to the dehumanization of society and should be condemned and Drake was acting like he was listening but then father started talking sexual slavery and we all know how that turned out-hey, does this jacket make me look fat?"

"Yes," Colin answers cheerfully. The red headed boy continued to slurp up his maple and bacon milkshake and took another bite of Alfred's homemade garlic fries. The crisp of the freshly fried potatoes and their oily goodness was absolutely heavenly. So worth listening to Damian's rants!

Damian groans, and tossed the garment into the hamper. "Tomorrow is the first day of school, and I need to look perfect."

"Gotham Academy has a uniform. You're going to look the same as everybody else," Colin points out to his best friend. "Besides, it's still hot outside. Why are you even picking out a coat?"

Damian looks at the orphan incredulously, "Because we're high schoolers now! And high schoolers are allowed their own choice of outerwear. It's a status symbol, Colin. I need to show Dick that I'm not the same kid I was before. I'm older now. I'm a man."

Colin scoffs. Damian grows five inches over the summer and his testicles decide to drop, and suddenly he's a man. Still, as his best friend, Colin knows when to pick and choose his battles. Instead, he says "Go with the cotton trench coat, it's cooler and makes you look older."

Damian perks up at the comment, and dashes into his closet. He pulls out three coats that match the description. Colin raises an eyebrow.

Damian has the decency to blush, "I couldn't decide which one I wanted."

"Dude, you are so gay."

Damian glares, "Says the guy giving fashion advice."

"I can't help that I'm fabulous," Colin jokes in good humor.

Damian groans, knowing full well that one of the reasons Colin is still friends with him is because the boy never takes anything he says to heart. It was good for their friendship but was bad for winning battles. Colin always won.

Colin tells him to put on the navy one, and give the red one to charity. "It makes you look like pedo-bait," Colin warns him.

Damian rolls his eyes and looks into the mirror. He hated to admit it, but Colin was right. The navy did make him look older, and really brought out his eyes. "Thanks," he admits begrudgingly.

Colin grins in victory.

"But what if doesn't like the color blue?" Damian panics. "What if he likes red or yellow or even green?"

Colin shrugs, "He probably likes all the colors in the rainbow, Damian."

"But navy isn't in the rainbow!" Damian protests. He starts hyperventilating and Colin's head immediately sets off alarms.

Colin marches up to Damian, resting his hands on the Eurasian boy's shoulders. "Calm down, Damian. Everything is going to be okay."

"Nothing is going to be okay! And it's all Dick's fault! He captured my soul and sanity. Everytime I'm looking at him is like I'm looking at him for the first time. When I'm around him, my heart leaps out of my chest and the air departs from lungs," Damian actually clutches his chest. "That whore!"

Colin rolls his eyes. Jesus, what a drama queen! Okay, plan B. "Repeat after me, Damian."

Damian agrees wordlessly, because at this rate, nothing is going to help. The panic is messing up his ability to distinguish bad advice and good advice. He is going to die of a broken heart, literally.

"When I walk in the spot..."

Damian controls his breaths and follows his best friend's lead. "When I walk in the spot..."

"This is what I see."

"This is what I see."

"Everybody stops and they're staring at me."

"Everybody stops and they're staring at me," Damian is starting to gain some sense now, but not enough to stop listening to Colin.

"I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it," Colin doesn't know how he manages to say this all with a straight face, but he does.

"I got passion in my pants-" Recognition dawns on Damian's face and Colin watches in pure amusement as it contorts to a look of pure rage. "Fuck you, Colin!" The crime fighter tackles his best friend and Colin took it with stride.

"We haven't even gotten to the good part yet. C'mon Dami, aren't you sexy and don't you know it!" Damian throws a mock punch at him (which should have killed him if it weren't for the fact that he was Abuse). Colin laughs hard enough to burst his belly and when they were done, the two move to their original places.

"So tell me what's your game plan for Mr. Grayson?" Colin inquires, after cleaning himself up.

"Well, I'm going to fuck him," Damian informs seriously, if not a bit crudely. "I'm going to make him fall in love with me through my indefinite sexual prowess and we're going to get married and use cloning technology to produce my heirs."

The ginger frowns disapprovingly. The Robin had so much to learn. "That's a goal, not a game plan," Colin chides. "You need to make him come to you."

Damian's heart flutters at the notion. Make him come to him? He hadn't even thought of that. "How do I do that?"

"It's going to take a lot of time," Colin informs. Damian winces at that. He didn't have enough time with all his raging competitors in the mix. "But it'll be worth it in the end. Patience is a virtue in the game of seduction."

Damian listens intently, "But what if someone gets to him first?"

Colin shakes his head in disagreement. "Guys like Mr. Grayson are always getting offers. They're use to the games-hell they invented the game. They're Olympic champions in the game. Do you want to play the game with him, Damian?"

Damian nods furiously, "I do!"

Colin takes this chance to smack him in the face-hard.

"You son of a bitch-!"

"I never want to hear you say that again. You can't play the game. Guys like you Damian, get played by the game."

Colin takes another fry, and chews on it thoughtfully, "You, Damian, need to woo him."

Damian blanches, "You mean like roses and chocolate and shit?"

Colin retches at the concept, "Bitch please, you only do that once you get him. Anytime before and it makes a man look desperate. No, you need to show him that you want him but you don't need him and if you get him, you can leave him."

Damian absorbs the information. "So how do I do that?"

Colin turns serious, "Well first of all, no touching"

"Okay no touching-wait what?"

"Hugs are okay, but keep them to a minimum."

"Have you seen him?" Damian seem genuinely troubled.

"Yes, and I'm guessing the whole world has, too. Damian, Mr. Grayson leads with his sexuality. If you want a lasting, meaningful relationship with him, you need to show him that you care about him, and not his body. And I know you like him for a lot more than that."

"I beg to differ."

"You wrote sonnets in his name. You described the everlasting magnitude of his heart and the kindness that is expressed in his eyes. Dude, you're in love."

Damian blushes in embarrassment. "How did you find out about those?"

Colin gives him a look that explains he knows everything. "Anyways, show him that side of you. Believe it or not, Damian, you have an advantage over everyone else."

"Really?" Damian asks in disbelief. "What?"

"You're his student."

Damian pulls back in irritation, "That's not an advantage! That's a disadvantage! He'll always look at me like a little kid-!"

Colin slaps him again. Damian growls, "I swear, Colin, if you do that one more time-!"

"It's an advantage if it means that you can spend more time with him. Ask him for some 'private tutoring,'" Colin suggests while making hand gestures around the phrase. "Something that he knows you're bad at or want to improve, don't do that lame thing and fail all your tests. He'll see right through that."

"But I'm good at everything!" Damian protests. Colin frowns, it is true. Despite being a menace upon society, Damian gets perfect grades. If it weren't for his attitude and utter lack of respect for human life, his secret identity would have been easily discovered. After all, Robins are kind, wholesome sidekicks.

A light bulb popped in Colin's head.

"Hey, Mr. Grayson used to be a trapeze artist, right?"

Damian nods.

Colin grins proudly, "Then, asks him for help in gymnastics! You've been saying that you need to improve your flexibility as Robin, and this is the perfect opportunity! Plus, if he asks, just say that you 'accidentally,'" and Colin threw a very accusational look in his direction, "found videos of his old performances in the circus and wanted to learn from him."

Damian accepts the suggestion eagerly. "And then we have sexy times?"

Colin almost face palmed. Still, Damian's hopeful look and sincerity made him giggle, "And then you have sexy times."

Damian offers him a little smile and even takes a few fries. They continue to discuss their game plan until nighttime, which Colin was forced to stay over (even though he could easily take care of himself on the streets). At dinner, Tim and Damian fought a battle of batglares, which led to Tim making a stressed out comment about Damian's school boy crush. Damian denied it and called Tim a pervert. A virginal pervert, at that. Tim rebutted by calling Damian short, which was a low blow, but did the trick. It resulted in Damian tackling his adopted brother across the table to the ground.

They're going to have to work on his temper, though. Colin sighs but continues eating his dessert. If he stopped eating every time Damian threw a tantrum, he'd starve.

Meanwhile, in an apartment building, far, far away from the wealthy elites of Gotham, stood a gorgeous young man, getting ready for his night escapade. His costume is skin tight, made of a unique frabic he discovered during his travels that provides both agility and protection. There's a symbol of large bird of prey on his chest, decorated in blue. He runs his fingers through his thick, dark locks, and hums as he puts on his domino mask.

The TV is on, and there's G. Gordan Godfrey sprouting more anti-alien propaganda on the news. Odd for a man that's so supportive of the Reach. On the side of his nightstand, beside a grappling gun, some daggers shaped like birds and his Eskrima sticks, there are a few pictures.

To anyone who watches the news regularly, they would have recognized them as the 'runaways,' a group of teenagers who ran away from home months ago and have yet to be found. The police in their respective hometowns have all given up on them, and so have their family members and community (with the exception of the Hawkins).

The man in the suit is fine with that, though it does make him a little sick. If the victim isn't white, blonde, and blue-eyed, the police rarely gave a shit. It does, however, makes things easier for him to do his job. Following a secret passage way to the rooftop, he finds himself five hundred feet in the air, and suddenly feels alive. He misses the sensations, the performance, and he's happy he's found a way to channel it for good.

Nightwing uses his gun to shoot to another building, and in that moment he makes a vow. He'll find his former students, and then, he's going to totally mess up the motherfuckers that took them.

* * *

Colin and Damian have an epic bromance. So Nightwing has arrived! And you know the Reach is in for some deep shit.

To those who followed/favorite but did not review, I just want you to know that I hope you all suck it. I don't exactly know what 'it' is, but I hope you deep throat it and swallow.

Thank you to all those that review. That means: **333, BuffyandSpikeLover, Guest, Guest, RayWest1982, theGirlNightwing, pokerfacedcat, mixxi, and Aguna.** You guys are the shizz. You're the whip cream on frappaccino. You are the pole of stripper!Dick. You are the juice of a well written lemon. Seriously, you inspire to write my chapters and I just love all of you.


	3. Pleasure doing business with you

Now, I'm going to be thanking my reviewers in alphabetical order, and because I can't say this enough: you guys are fucking awesome. Note: Skip this if you didn't review.

**333-**Love your review! And yes, this has a plot! Even I didn't see it coming! It came and it landed and suddenly, it made its way home in this story. I completely forgot about the bugged room! Oh shit, thank you for reminding me. I will find some way to make it work. And I love your theorizing because some of it is very accurate to what's going to happen. Good job. As for Jason...I love Jason so I might find a way to bring him into the story. He's dead. Fuck death. This is fanfiction.** Aguna-**Iwas waiting for someone to call me out on that! You go girl! I'll find a way to explain that. Thank you for reviewing! ** .7967747. -**Dude, your name is the shizz. I love it. Thank you for reviewing and for loving their reactions. **BuffyandSpikeLover**-I sincerely doubt that. You seem awesome! Thank you for reviewing! **BurningBright222**-That would be hilarious, but probably not happening. Love Barbara but I'm Team Starfire pre-52. But who knows? I'm making this up as I go along. Thank you for reviewing!** CallMeFye**-Don't we all want a teacher like Dick? And yes, everybody wants Dick. Damian, though, is actually attracted to more than his body though, which makes his feelings bit more real. I want to build real romances so who knows? I do take reviewers' feelings into consideration so if you want DamianxDick, I'd have to oblige. Thank you for reviewing.** DickGraysonisasterous-**Totally! Thank you for reviewing!** TheGirlNightwing-**I only speak the truth. Thank you for your review! And yes, I couldn't leave Nightwing out of it.** Guest-**Rock on! **Kiko'sToy**-Well, I always take reviewers desires into account and if you want some TimxDick scenes, I will give you some TimxDick scenes. Thanks for reviewing! **KA-**This is like a mixed between crack and not crack. I don't know. I was trying to avoid OOCness but I guess it couldn't be done. Oh well, at this point, I'm just trying to keep Damian's anger issues and strive to be the best behavior apparent. Because that's the best I can do to keep them in character. Thank you for reviewing! **Lovely-blue-lady**-Yeah, Dick has that affect on us fangirls. It's probably going to get more intense as this story goes on. Hope you can handle it! Thank you for reviewing! **Mixxi**-I totally agree. And I love you for reviewing. So kind. Wouldn't it be awesome if we all had superpowers to stop awesome cancelled TV shows? Maybe one day, someone will revive it. Here's hoping.** Pokerfacedcat-**I Love Waffles. Thank you so much for reviewing. And yes, you went there and I applaud you for it. I had to add the bromance because I love Colin. He's my boy. And the Reach better watch out. **RayWest1982-**I love Colin (who is a badass orphan) and I love Nightwing so of course they'll be in here! I'm trying to avoid OOCness so thank you for warning me, but who knows what Damian acts like when he has a crush. Probably as crazy as he is now. And if not...this crack. That's my only justification. Thank you for reviewing! **Vampire-Queen-Kazumi**-Colin is one of my favorites! I'm actually a huge ColinxDamian shipper but for this story I want them to just be best bros. And best bros support and make fun of each other. Thank you for reviewing!

**Chapter 3: **Pleasure doing business with you

* * *

When Dick was six years old, he learned a valuable lesson living the circus.

"Shit happens," Jack Haley answered him, who was worried that their current situation would affect their show tomorrow. It was his first performance, and he really wanted it to be the best one ever. Haley was nursing Verona the Tightrope Walker's black eye with a piece of meat. She was sobbing in Italian, and cursing Rolly the Clown for bludgeoning her with his rolling pins. In the background, the Strong Man was picking a fight with Rolly's twin brother, and the lion tamer was clutching onto his bleeding arm. His parents were humping inside the tents, either unaware or simply don't care that the people outside can see the shadows, and his cousin John was getting rejected by the contortionist while being felt up by an elephant.

Jack puts a hand on his shoulder. "But when in doubt, bring alcohol. Lots of alcohol," He shoved a bottle of vodka in Dick's hands and a few shot glasses. "Now, take a shot, and get ready. I want everyone drunk before the show tomorrow. You take the west end, and I take the east."

Dick nodded seriously and took a swing of the bitter drink. He rushed to his parents, who were in the midst of post-coital pleasure. "Daddy! Mommy! We're going to get plastered!"

"That's nice, sweetie." His mom cooed. She didn't seem to really hear him, pulling his dad in for more 'happy times.' Dick shrugged, and went on to pass the message.

Later that night, Dick, and the other kids got to be left alone with the animals. They played with the snakes, rode the elephants, and petted the lion. Outside, the adults were getting high, and the air was filled with drunken laughter.

And as Nightwing held a drunk, crying Harleen Quinzel in his arms, he knew that was the best advice he's ever been given.

"Then, he abandoned me! For another man! For Batman! What kind of a name is Batman, anyways? Batman is just some jackass who rides around in a cool car. It's not that cool! But he doesn't care, you know, taking time away from the love of my life! I think he's kind of gay." Dick raises an eyebrow at her accusation. Harley hits him and laughs loudly. "Not Batman, but Joker. Oh my god, is that the reason he doesn't love me? He thinks I don't understand? He's wrong, you know! It could bring us closer!" Harley takes another swing of tequila and stood up. She lifts up her glass and shouts out to her fellow inmates. "I THINK EVERYBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO LIKE DICK!"

Her fellow inmates stare at her. Harley's happy mood falters, before Nightwing stands up beside her. He lifts up his drink. "That goes for vagina, too!" Poison Ivy lifts up her glass and yells "preach!" resulting in a standing ovation.

Nightwing laughs and dumps his liquid into someone else glass. Haley's second piece of advice? Don't get more drunk than the person next to you.

The patients continue drinking themselves to oblivion. Nightwing had manipulated the schedule, making sure that no one was on, so there weren't any guards. Fortunately for him, it was a Sunday and a full moon, and everybody hated working on one of those days. Hardly anyone questioned the decision. Those that did, laid unconscious in a cell with their key cards stolen.

Nightwing puts on a charming smile, and curls up to her. "I think you're too good for that jerk! Didn't he get his ass handed to him by a bunch of sidekicks a couple of years ago?"

Harley Quinn predictably jumps on the defense. "That wasn't his fault! The Light paid him to do it!"

Nightwing's interest peaks. He keeps his cool, and waves her off nonchalantly. "That's what men like to say when they fail. It's not my fault. I was being used. It was all a ruse!"

"But he was!" Harley repeats passionately. "Ask Ivy! She was apart of that plan, too!"

Harley jumps out of her seat, and grabs the red haired beauty. Dick grins. He loves dealing with redheads. Pamela Isley glares at the bouncing blonde, who was desperate to prove him wrong. Her glare shifts to him, eying him suspiciously. Dick smiles back. Unlike Harley, Poison Ivy is a challenge. He likes challenges.

"Tell him how the Light used you as a decoy! How they broke you out so that they wouldn't get cau-! Ow!"

Pamela pinched her. Nightwing's grin widens. It was a good sign. Not wanting to give information on the Light, meant she has some information, and that meant she was the perfect target.

"Thanks for the alcohol," she says curtly. "Not the best place for a party, though."

Nightwing laughs lightly, "I happen to like the company. Harley here is a doll."

Harley blushes at the compliment, and attempts to get on Ivy's good side. "This is Nightwing! He's here to get advice on how to be a good supervillain. He even brought drinks! Isn't he sweet?"

"Like sugar cane," Pamela says dryly. Her gaze turns suspicious. "So what do you want to know?"

Nightwing shrugs, "Oh, you know the basics: who to avoid, who to meet, who to sleep with..."

"I can't help you there. Most of the men I date end up dead."

"Or cray-cray," Harley chimes, casting a side glance at Harvey Dent and his poker buddies.

Nightwing's resolve didn't falter. He leans forward, and kisses the back of her hand like a gentleman. Ivy rolls the eyes, but turns her head a bit to hide what may be a blush. "I like a little danger."

Harley swoons. She giggles obnoxiously and throws a wink Nightwing's way. "Well, I know where this going! I'll just leave you two alone!"

Poison Ivy tries to stop her, but Nightwing waves her goodbye with a warm smile. He turns to Poison Ivy, who is glaring at him intensely. She takes back her hand and takes a seat. She's tipsy, but not enough to affect her judgement. Her immune system probably filtered out most of the alcohol.

"Now that tinkerbell's gone, let's get to business," Poison Ivy crosses her legs. Nightwing smirks, and takes his second shot for the night.

"I need to get in touch with the Light."

"And why is that?" Ivy asks skeptically.

"They have something I want," Nightwing answers vaguely. Like hell he was going to tell her he wanted revenge on the Reach.

"It's not happening, kid."

The air turns tense, but Nightwing has never let a bad situation get him down. "What ever happen to never say never?"

"This isn't some club you can pay your fees and get in. They want you, they contact you. Not the other way around."

"Then, I'll make them notice me. I'm good at that. Just tell me who I'm after."

Ivy looks around nervously. Her whole body goes on the defense, and she looks ready to make a run for it. The Light scares her. He can't afford her freaking out and leaving, so he moves forth on his plan. He strolls over to her side of the table, and when she tries to create a distance, he grabs her by the waist to a point that they were press against each other.

From there, he whispers in her ear, "I'll make it worth your while."

Ivy breath catches, and her body shamefully reacts to his chisel chest and skilled hands. She is definitely intrigued but remains reluctant. "You're not my type," she says unconvincingly.

Nightwing rewards her response with a breathy chuckle, "_I'm everybody's type._"

To her disappointment, he lets go of her. "But it's not like I came unprepared." Nightwing takes out a key. "This is for a greenhouse in Brazil. It's filled with some of the most endangered plants in the world. In addition to releasing you from this hell hole, it is all yours."

Poison Ivy stares at the key hungrily. Combine with that and Nightwing's overall charm, it was a tough battle. She makes a grab for it, which he intercepts. "All you have to do is give me the names."

Poison Ivy is still staring at the key. "How do I know you're not lying?"

Nightwing grins, "Because I need my advancement in the Light to be a surprise, and it's not going to be one if you get piss and tell everybody, will it?"

Poison Ivy nods agreeably. She still is hesitant, which makes Nightwing frown. He really didn't want this to get bloody.

Nightwing leans in and looks her straight in the eye. "Make the deal, Ivy. You get a ticket out of Gotham and a home to look forward to. You can even bring Harley! And if you don't sell me out, I don't sell you out. But if you disagree...well," Nightwing's smile turns a bit malicious, and even Ivy feels a chill run down her spine from the sight of it.

"I don't like hurting people, Ivy, but I'm told that I'm very good at it," he threatens coldly. He rests a hand on her thigh and squeezes it tightly. "And I gurantee you, _I will make you sing like a bird_."

Poison Ivy can't breathe.

Nightwing pulls back and laughs a little, trying to clear the air. "Of course, I hope it doesn't come down to that! So what do you say?"

Ivy contemplates her options, knowing neither were very good. If the Light found out what she did, Batman himself couldn't save her. On the other hand, if no one found out, she was safe. Her hand reaches for the key, and Dick lets her. He's eying her with caution, but doesn't stop her from smelling the pollen lacing the piece of metal. She smiles wistfully, content with her decision for the time being.

"Pleasure doing business with you," He tells her seductively. Seconds later, she reveals every secret she could think of the Light. Nightwing only wished he could record it all.

The next morning, every news station in Gotham is raving about their new supervillain, Nightwing, and his plans for Gotham. Against his better judgement, Wally West turns on the TV to 'enjoy' the daily news. As much as he liked to avoid dealing with superhero business, he likes staying well informed even more. It sucks that Gotham had more crimes than Central City and Metropolis combined.

Considering high school was hell, Wally decided to fuck it all and graduate early, thus allowing him to finish his degree in physics at age 20. Wally West decided that the best way to make use of his education was to help the kids living in the most dangerous city on earth. So he took a teaching program (which is far easier than it should have been) and applied to every school in Gotham. Plus, he thought it meant he could be closer to Artemis. Then, that turned out to be a disaster when she decided to go back into the superhero business, and they broke up.

Still, no hard feelings. The two remained friends (though Wally would be lying if he said there weren't any lingering feelings here and there). Believe it or not, Wally is looking forward to teaching at Gotham Academy. Sure, they are filled with rich kids with more money in their trust funds than his entire family line combined, but at least it paid well and Tim was there, giving him a familiar face. If only the city wasn't a constant reminder of his vigilante past. Reluctantly, he turns up the volume to watch Vicki Vale give the report at Arkham Asylum. She was pretty, even though she had nothing on his aunt.

"I'm here, live today, to interview the patients of Arkham Asylum who witness the break out of more than fifty inmates last night by the new criminal, Nightwing."

"He was like a baby unicorn!" One of the inmates told the reporter, waving his hands wildly as he took a swing of leftover tequila. The doctors struggle to get it away from him, but he fought them off. "Spreading love and joy-get your paws away from me-into our hearts! We love you Nightwing!"

Vicki winces at the man's drunken manner before moving onto the next guy. The grumpy old fellow with a missing tooth leered at the red head and growled at the camera. "That damn hippie came in here and shook his bon bons to hypnotize us! I bet you he was planning on anal probing us like the damn alien he was! That's why he brought us alcohol! To make us submissive for the invasion!"

The man's eyes begin to bulge, and Vicki, her crew, and fellow patients began to slowly back away. The next on their list was a bubble popping blonde, who seem to adore the camera a little too much. Probably a narcissist.

"Yeah, he was, like, chatting Ivy up, for like, stuff. I think they were, like, going to, like, make out, and like, have sex, like, you know, the typically shit. It was, like, so fucking hot. And then they, like, broke out, with like, that crazy chick, Harley, and like, had a threesome, and like, they should have invited me, but you know, you try to kill, like, all the girls in your slumber party, and suddenly you can't be trusted."

Vicki coughs awkwardly, and despite being irritated by the overuse of the word 'like' and the fear she must have felt then, she still smiles demurely at the camera. Wally had to hand it to the Gotham residents. They had to have balls to live there for so long. "So as you can see, the patients are still a bit overwhelmed with last nights' events. Keep an eye out for the new villain on the block who is reportedly working with Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, and has release a number of Gotham's most feared supervillains, all without alerting the police or Batman! Thank you. I'm Vicki Vale, and this is the Gotham Gazette news channel."

The newscast pulls up a picture shadowy figure. Apparently, it was received before the cameras were disabled. Wally scoffs. He doesn't know how the reporters could make a story out of it. The only thing he could tell from the photos is that Nightwing had a really great ass.

Turning off his TV, Wally cleans up his apartment a bit (a habit he picked up from living with his surprising neat freak of an ex-girlfriend) before jolting out the door. He vowed that no matter what these brats did, he was ready for everything. Bring on the rich white kid problems!

In retrospect, Wally actually did prepare for some hot coworkers. He actually entertained the prospect of a relationship with sexy, glasses wearing colleague. Hell, he even prepared a "this is totally inappropriate" speech for any student who wanted to cross the line.

But seriously? All that preparation goes out the window when he runs straight into the sexiest motorcycle riding man he has ever seen. Wally can't stop the momentum from knocking the older dude over, and they both end up toppling onto the sidewalk. He ends up straddling the poor man, whose attention is drawn to his aching head. Wally begins to panic, because one, this is embarrassing, and two, it is really embarrassing, and three, he thinks he's getting hard.

He struggles to get off him, but it's a bit too late. His green eyes meet his victim's blue ones, and he can't help but realize why poets always go on and on about their girlfriend's eyes. His eyes were gorgeous. As is the rest of him, which is as equally beautiful, if not more so.

The man smiles charmingly, and nurses his injured head. He bats his long lashes at Wally, and the red headed man swoons. "Your eyes are beautiful..." Wally whispers, enchanted by their beauty. He hears a chuckle beneath him, and realizes, to his horror, that he said it out loud.

"Thank you," the man accepts his compliment graciously, and seems to forgiven the fact that Wally is ogling on him shamelessly, "But can you get off my lap? It's getting uncomfortable!"

He quickly agrees (though he probably was a bit slow when sliding off the crotch area). He hears someone clear their throat behind him, and finds the wrath of a hundred male students upon him. And just like that, he becomes public enemy no.1 to almost every teenage boy at Gotham Academy.

* * *

I brought Wally! I missed him so much in Young Justice. Next chapter will be the first day of school at Gotham Academy and maybe a mission. I'm really going to mess up with the continuity here. And I honestly don't know how this story is going to end. It might never end. Dick is my fandom bicycle so I do not have a preference who he ends up. Though, I do have a soft spot for SladexDick from the Teen Titans days. But it seems to be leading towards DamianxDick (no surprise there) with a shout out to TimxDick. So naturally, I'm going to have to stir up the pot a bit.


End file.
